Could Vance lose out on VP due to… facial hair?

Posted on Jul 10, 2024

So here’s some fun VP nominee intrigue… Trumpworld expert and Florida Man Marc Caputo has been ringing an alarm bell for Sen. JD Vance. It seems the good senator could lose out on being Trump’s VP nominee (or, given the state of Biden’s polling, let’s just say “VP”) due to his… facial hair.

“J.D. has a beard. But Trump is a clean-shaven guy. He just doesn’t like facial hair,” a Trump confidant, who wants Vance on the ticket, told The Bulwark.


So why not shave his face? It’s probably out of the question for Vance because of how young he is and looks. The Ohio senator turns 40 on August 2 and would be the third-youngest vice president to serve. But Trump wants someone who is experienced—or at least looks experienced. And “without the beard, Vance looks like he’s 12,” said another Trump adviser.


Trump’s aversion to facial hair is legendary.

On Father’s Day in 2020, Trump told his son Don Jr. to shave his Covid quarantine beard and compared it unfavorably to Ted Cruz and Rand Paul’s. And in 2016, theWashington Post reported, John Bolton might not have made the cut for secretary of state because of his trademarked mustache. But then Trump’s pick for national security advisor, Michael Flynn, fell apart. And Trump seemed to overcome his facial trichophobia by choosing Bolton as a replacement.

To be fair, Vance’s beard is far better maintained and more stylish than Donald Trump, Jr.’s (which we agree does look like Ted Cruz’s beard).

But still… it’s a beard.

Could Vance’s beautiful blue eyes, apparently the basis for Trump’s massive man-crush on Vance outweigh worries about his facial hair? Maybe!

[L]ike a number of ladies of MAGAville, Trump has repeatedly commented favorably on his “beautiful” blue eyes and long eyelashes…

Probably more germane is the fact that Vance is actually a more effective advocate for and defender of Trumpism than Trump himself:

Trump likes the way Vance promotes and defends him on television.

But is Vance too effective? God knows Trump hates anyone beating him at anything, especially his own game.

The flip side is, he’s almost as old as Biden and if he cares about his legacy, he’s got to be thinking about who carries that beyond the next four years (or the next four months, if Trump’s cholesterol levels have a say in this).

We rate Vance’s chances of clinching the VP nominee nod. Even with the beard.